I Was the ‘Boys Have a Penis’ Kid from Kindergarten Cop: An Interview.
The action icon is universally recognized as an Hollywood heavyweight. But, in the midst of his cinematic dominance in the eighties and nineties, he also headlined several surprisingly great comedies. The standout film is Kindergarten Cop, which hits its 35-year mark this holiday season.
The Story and An Iconic Moment
In the hit comedy, Schwarzenegger portrays a tough police officer who goes undercover as a kindergarten teacher to locate a fugitive. During the story, the procedural element functions as a loose framework for the star to share adorable scenes with children. The most unforgettable involves a student named Joseph, who out of nowhere stands up and states the former bodybuilder, “Males have a penis, girls have a vagina.” Arnold replies icily, “Thank you for that information.”
The boy behind the line was played by former young actor Miko Hughes. His career encompassed a recurring role on Full House as the schoolyard menace to the child stars and the pivotal role of the youngster who comes back in the screen translation of Stephen King’s Pet Sematary. He still works in film today, with multiple films listed on his IMDb. Furthermore, he is a regular on popular culture events. Recently recalled his memories from the set of Kindergarten Cop over three decades on.
A Young Actor's Perspective
Question: Starting off, how old were you when you filmed Kindergarten Cop?
Miko Hughes: I think I was four. I was the youngest of all the kids on set.
Wow, I can't remember being four. Do you have any memories from that time?
Yeah, a little bit. They're flashes. They're like picture memories.
Do you recall how you were cast in Kindergarten Cop?
My parents, primarily my mom would bring me to auditions. Often it was an open call. There'd be dozens of children and we'd all simply wait around, go into the room, be in there briefly, deliver a quick line they wanted and that was it. My parents would feed me the lines and then, when I became literate, that was some of the first material I was reading.
Do you have an impression of meeting Arnold? What was your impression of him?
He was incredibly nice. He was fun. He was good-natured, which I guess stands to reason. It would have been odd if he was unpleasant to all the kids in the classroom, that probably wouldn't make for a productive set. He was a joy to have on set.
“It'd be weird if he was a dick to all the kids in the classroom.”
I understood he was a huge celebrity because that's what my parents told me, but I had barely seen his movies. I sensed the excitement — like, that's cool — but he didn't really intimidate me. He was merely entertaining and I was eager to interact with him when he had time. He was occupied, of course, but he'd occasionally joke around here and there, and we would dangle from his limbs. He'd tense up and we'd be hanging off. He was really, really generous. He gifted all the students in the classroom a Sony Walkman, which at the time was a major status symbol. It was the coolest device, that iconic bright yellow cassette player. I listened to the Power Rangers soundtrack and the Ninja Turtles soundtrack for years on that thing on that thing. It eventually broke. I also received a genuine metal whistle. He had the referee's whistle, and the kids all were gifted copies as well.
Do you remember your experience as being positive?
You know, it's amusing, that movie became a phenomenon. It was such a big movie, and it was such an amazing experience, and you would think, in retrospect, I would want my memories to be of collaborating with Schwarzenegger, working with [director] Ivan Reitman, visiting Astoria, being on a professional set, but my memories are of being a really picky eater at lunch. For instance, they got everyone pizza, but I didn't even like pizza. All I would eat was the toppings only. Then, the first-generation Game Boy was new. That was the hot thing, and I was pretty good at it. I was the smallest kid and some of the other children would ask for my help to get past hard parts on games because I could do it, and I was really proud of that. So, it's all youthful anecdotes.
The Infamous Moment
OK, the penis and vagina line, do you remember how it happened? Did you know what you were saying?
At the time, I probably didn't know what the word provocative meant, but I understood it was edgy and it caused the crew to chuckle. I understood it was kind of something I shouldn't normally say, but I was given approval in this case because it was humorous.
“It was a difficult decision for her.”
How it originated, from what I understand, was they didn't have specific roles. A few scenes were established early on, but once they had the entire ensemble assembled, it wasn't necessarily improv, but they refined it on set and, presumably someone in charge came to my mom and said, "We're thinking. We want Miko to say this. Are you okay with this?" My mom didn't answer immediately. She said, "Let me think about it, I need time" and took a short while. She really wrestled with it. She said she was hesitant, but she felt it could end up as one of the iconic quotes from the movie and she was right.